Thursday, September 29, 2011

Kartoffelpuffer mit Apfelmus (Potato Pancakes with Chunky Apple Sauce)

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I wish I wish I wish. I wish I could cook and bake and enjoy life as much as I want. But unfortunately, there's stuff do to. Smart people stuff. Whether I'm up for the task has yet to be proven. I am working on my bachelor's thesis right now and am kind of in the crucial initial phase. Naturally, that means that it is taking up most of my time, leaving a little less for cooking and blogging. So today's main theme is: Keeping it simple.

German Potato Pancakes with Chunky Apple Sauce

You know what I have noticed? While I'm German, I have not posted any traditional German recipes so far. That is because I don't really know what “German Cuisine” is. I just heard some people yell “SAUERKRAUT!!”. Well, yes and no. Sauerkraut is eaten everywhere in Germany today, but traditionally, you would not find it in the northern parts. And then, every region would traditionally prepare and serve it differently along with different dishes.

See, historically, the area now known as Germany consisted of many small kingdoms and dukedoms each differing culturally, linguistically and culinary which one still notices today. I would not be able to understand people from the deepest parts of Bavaria. So even if a dish is prepared in a similar way in more than just one place, the name can still be different.

Those where a lot of differences in one post.

German Potato Pancakes with Chunky Apple Sauce
This is basically all you need.

These bad boys here for example, while basically known all over Central Europe, are called “Kartoffelpuffer” where I live. Other names would be “Erdäpfelpuffer“, „Reibekuchen“, „Reiberdatschi“, „Reibeplätzchen“, „Kartoffelpfannkuchen“ „Baggers“ and „Flinsen“ . See what I mean? Internationally, they are better known as latkes or simply potato pancakes.

For sticking with the 'simple' theme, I kept mine vegan, keeping it as simple as possible. The apple sauce however as a bit of an autumn like twist with roasted almonds and raisins. Onions along with a rather sweet dish? Yes. Trust me when I say that you won't taste them. Yet they are essential for having a lot of that roasted flavour!
German Potato Pancakes with Chunky Apple Sauce

Kartoffelpuffer mit Apfelmus (Potato Pancakes with Chunky Apple Sauce)

Potato Pancakes

  • 1 kg (35.3 oz.) potatoes
  • 2 medium sized onions
  • 2 tbsp starch flour
  • 1/4 ts ground nutmeg
  • Pinch of salt
  • oil for frying

  1. Peel and grate potatoes and onions. With your hands, tightly squeeze out as much liquid as possible (I am sure there are more sophisticated methods, but I am not that fancy and stick to the 'simple' theme here).
  2. Add starch flour, nutmeg and salt. Stir well and set aside and start preparing apple sauce. Your batter might get a grayish tone that, while it will not be visible when prepared anymore, does not look too appetizing. To prevent the colour change, add about 1 tablespoon of lemon juice.
  3. When apple sauce is cooking, heat up a pan. Cover bottom of pan with oil. You will need quite a bit or the potato pancakes will stick. 
  4. When oil is hot, stir potato mass again and place a heaping tablespoon of it it the pan, pressing it down with a spatula immediately, forming a patty (it is better to use a bit more batter than too little). I would recommend only placing up to three patties in the pan. Slightly shake pan to prevent patties from sticking to the bottom. After about three minutes or when you see that the patties are starting to brown, carefully flip them over. 
  5. If the potato pancakes are not browned enough to you liking, turn them over and over again until they are. The crucial part for them to stick together and not on the bottom really is the first turn. 
  6. Lay them out on paper towels to soak up some of the fat.

Chunky Apple Sauce

  • About 1kg (35.3 oz.) apples (preferably tart)
  • A splash of lemon juice
  • 1 ts cinnamon
  • 150-200g (5.3-7 oz.) almond slivers
  • 100g (3.5 oz.) raisins
  • Sugar to taste

  1. Remove core from apples and dice them in cubes of about 1''. You can peel them if you would like to. I did not. Throw them in a large pot heated up on low heat along with a splash of lemon juice. Stir well.
  2. In a small pot, dry roast the almond slivers until they browned to your liking, add to the apples.
  3. Once the apples start to soften, add all other ingredients. Stir occasionally until most apples have cooked into a sauce, yet still with some chunks remaining.
  4. Add sugar to your liking. I found my apple sauce to be sweet enough because of the raisins.

Serve along with potato pancakes and enjoy!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Hasselback Potatoes with Apple Chutney

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Apples. I know I have already posted a picture of the apple tree from our garden. But just in case, here is a reminder:
Hasselback Potatoes with Apple Chutney
Yup. A different one.
In fact, there are THREE apple trees back there taunting me with their heavily loaded branches. They know exactly that I should spent my time on something else than picking them all and I could swear there is a hushed giggle following each thud caused by another apple dropping down. You complained about a bad "apple year" last autumn? You want apples? We give you apples! Mean apple trees those are!

Actually, I should be happy about the plethora of tart, juicy fruits they are carrying this year. However, the only thing you cannot have too much of is money happiness, right?

Hasselback Potatoes with Apple Chutney

So, as I am trying to use (and/or give away) as many of them as possible, there are going to be lots of apple recipes showing up on here, as I have mentioned before. Don't say I did not warn you.

This combination has a bit of a fusion cuisine touch to it with the hasselback potatoes originating from Sweden and chutney being associated with India and Pakistan. Hasselback potatoes are less of a recipe than they are a way of preparation. Make thin cuts (about 3-4 mm) into a (preferably waxy and broad for better hold) potato without actually slicing through. I put a few pieces of onion into mine, salted and topped it with a dab of butter and paprika powder. They were then baked in the oven on 220°C (425°C) for about 40 minutes, with pepper added afterwards.

Hasselback Potatoes with Apple Chutney

The actual recipe is the chutney. I really like the combination of sweet, sour and savory. However, the recipe calls for a whopping 500g of sugar for 1kg apples! I sticked strictly to the recipe and found it to be overly sweet so I halved the amount the next time and it was just sweet enough this way. It works great with potatoes and pork like I served it. Chicken works just as well so does cheese or a fondue.

Hasselback Potatoes with Apple Chutney

Apple Chutney
The original can be found here (German).
Makes a lot! But you can store left-overs in jars.

  • 1kg (35.3 oz.) apples (preferably sour), peeled and cut in thin slices.
  • 250g (8.8 oz.) onions, finely chopped.
  • 1 clove of garlic (I used 3), finely chopped.
  • 375ml (12.7 fl. oz.) vinegar (while the original recipe suggests wine vinegar, I used cider vinegar)
  • 500g (17.6 oz.) sugar (I would suggest 250-300g)
  • 3 tbsp ground mustard seeds (I used freshly ground brown mustard seeds which are milder in taste)
  • 2 tbsp of freshly grated ginger
  • 1 ts cayenne pepper
  • 250g (8.8 oz.) raisins

  1. In a large pot, combine all ingredients but the raisins and let simmer for an hour, stirring it from time to time.
  2. Add raisins and let cook for another 15 minutes (I always add the raisins right away and never found anything to complain about this way.)

The chutney is done when it does not run off a spoon anymore.
You can store it in jars like jam if you want to right away, or heat up any left-overs and store those. Here is a great instruction on sterilizing jars. 


Hasselback Potatoes with Apple Chutney

Friday, September 16, 2011

Hazelnut Apple Sheet Cake

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Sooo, Monday was my one month mensiversary. Yes. That's a word. I looked it up.

Hazelnut Apple Sheet Cake 
Anyway, I was just minding my own business not really thinking about it, when I saw that Alyssa from Mom de Cuisine was awarded with a 'Versatile Blogger Award'. “Good for her!”, I thought. It's a great blog she has there with almost daily updates from sweet to savory. So she truly deserves it.

As I went through the list of bloggers she passed the award on to, I noticed something. There was one name I thought I misread. Could that be... MY name I saw there? WHOA! Yes? YES! How was that possible? I feel genuinely honoured, I do. As I said, I have only been a blogger for one month yet feel very passionate about it and hope to one day find my style and voice as one and develop my cooking and baking skills.

It's been a great month and hope for many more to come!

Thank you, Alyssa!

Hazelnut Apple Sheet Cake

So, coming with this award are certain rules. I did a search about it and saw that there seem to be different ones. As I am so new to blogging, I chose the following:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award.
2. Tell 7 random things about yourself.
3. Pass the award on to 10 bloggers you've recently discovered and you think are fantastic!

Here we go:

Seven random things about me:

1. The only two Disney films that I like are the old Alice in Wonderland and Mary Poppins. I just don't get me to like Disney because I always felt like they ripped off other films and ideas (most of it was based on books and fairy tales to begin with, anyway) and many of the old ones had obvious racist implications. I could do a whole post about this so I'll leave it to that for now.

2. I hate spiders. Alright, that's not very creative. Many people hate spiders. It went so far with me that when I was a child, even the tiniest of those eight-legged monsters made me freeze and stare at it, fearing it would disappear once I manage to get the vacuum cleaner. It got better, though. Last year (pretty much exactly one year ago from today), there was an incident with a HUGE spider sitting right next to my pillow the moment I wanted to go to bed. Let's just say it was the first and last panic attack I've ever had with cold sweat and everything. After that kind of 'shock therapy', I'm a little more relaxed but still could not sleep in a room where I KNOW there is one.

3. I did an internship in London and fell in love with that city. The people, the mentality, the variety, the culture, the vibe. It comes so far that when the desire to get back becomes too strong, I go to that kind of strange tiny shop in a completely different part of the city I live in just to buy me a Crunchie for like 1€. You don't get those here. Oh, and while I'm German, my accent is British when I speak English. Apparently, I sound like a “posh British schoolboy”, so I've been told. Go figure....

4. If I was a girl, my name would be Julia. True story. My mother got the idea of calling me Tobias because of a football (soccer) match my brother had when he was 13. One boy who played in THE OTHER team was called Tobias and his friends where cheering him on yelling “TO-BY! TO-BY!”. She liked that so much that she gave me that name. Bless her heart.

5. I love animals but decided for me that I can never have a pet (anymore). I used to have a cat until she died about 3,5 years ago and it crushed my soul so deeply I still can hardly look at pictures of her. It's better for my own sake.

6. My very most favourite leaf vegetable was arugula... until I developed an allergy from one day to another. If I eat it now, my whole mouth and throat turn sore for a couple of days. Not worth it.

7. About two months ago, I bought a Joan Baez vinyl record. I don't even have a player. I just saw it when I passed a music store that also sells old vinyls and felt like it. I like her, yes, but am not obsessing over her or anything. These facts are supposed to be random and that is one of the most random things I bought, I guess.

About the bloggers...that really is a difficult task for me. I mean, I have only been a blogger for a month and being an active part of the blogging community is very new to me. Many of the blogs I would consider have already received the award, some may not really care. Because of those factors coming together here, I chose to pick 10 blogs I have recently discovered and think are great as opposed to 15 blogs in general. The rules vary and I found these to suit me better.
To be honest, I am a bit overwhelmed and feel like I am not quite up to the task. ;)

So here we go (in no particular order):

I am going to contact all of them as soon as possible although I have never spoken to some of them before. Awkward.

Now, there is still a recipe to post! I actually meant to post something completely different today, but because there is always cake when there is something to celebrate, I decided to bake one right this morning, especially for this occasion!

Autumn is right around the corner. That also means that harvest time is here. Do you want to see a picture of our apple trees? No Tobias, why should we? I knew you do! So here it is:

Hazelnut Apple Sheet Cake

That means that I am going to post quite few apple recipes in near future because that is basically what I'll be baking with. Apples Apples Apples. Good thing I like them.

I am in love with this cake. It has an old timey sentiment to it and not only because both my grandmother and mother used to bake it. I leafed through my grandmother's old folder of recipes she “passed on” to me and tracked down the original. It was in a promotional calendar by “Dr. Oetker” from 1954! For the month of March, strangely. Not really a month I'd associate with apples. Dr. Oetker is a well-established food processing company which also publishes cookbooks and has many other things in its portfolio. Their book “Schulkochbuch” had an impact on German cooking similar to Julia Child's in the US.

Anyway, I changed the recipe quite a bit to give it a more seasonal touch and because I simply adore the combination of apples and cinnamon. I prefer this version to the original. However, I leave it up to you to decide which one you like better.

Hazelnut Apple Sheet Cake

Hazelnut Apple Sheet Cake

  • 1 package vanilla pudding mix (not instant, the kind you need to cook. Can be substituted with 45g or 1.6 oz. starch flour and 1 ts vanilla essence)
  • 4 tbsp milk
  • 150g (5.3 oz.) butter
  • 150g (5.3 oz.) sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • A pinch of salt
  • 250g (8.8 oz.) all-purpose flour
  • 9g (0.3 oz. or about 1 1/2 ts) baking powder
  • 500g (17.6 oz.) apples, peeled and sliced

My personal changes and additions:
  • I only used 150g all-purpose flour and substituted 100g (3.5 oz.) with ground hazelnuts
  • 1 1/2 ts of cinnamon for the batter (because apples and cinnamon are HEAVEN)
  • 2 handfuls of slightly crushed hazelnuts (I did that in a mortar but a freezer bag or even just cloth and anything heavy works just as well)
  • Mixture of about 5 ts of demerara sugar and 1 ts of cinnamon

  1. Preheat oven to 160°C (320°F)
  2. Stir pudding mix with milk.
  3. Beat butter until creamy, add sugar, eggs and salt little by little.
  4. Mix flour and baking powder (substitute 100g flour with ground hazelnuts and add cinnamon if you want to try my version), add to the batter alternately with pudding mix.
  5. Spread half the batter into a greased 24cm (about 9'') spring form pan. Lay out half of the sliced apples.
  6. Sprinkle with half of the demerara/cinnamon mix and a handful of slightly crushed hazelnuts (all optional)
  7. Spread remaining batter onto apples, lay out remaining apples. Add rest of demerara and hazelnuts (optional again).
  8. Bake on centre rack for about 55 minutes (my version took about 60 minutes).


Oh right. This is what the calendar looks like:
Hazelnut Apple Sheet Cake

Wow, this post took so long to write I had to push it back a day.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Zucchini Pan Stew

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Ok, so it has not even been a month since I have started blogging but I have managed to post at least twice a week so there are 10 entries by now. Browsing through those 10 recipes coming with the posts, do you notice something? No? They are all terrific Four of them have zucchini. And you know why that is so? Because I LOVE them! Zucchini and tomatoes are two vegetables (well technically, they are both fruits) I pretty much live on during the warmer months of the year. There is just nothing not to love about them. Don't believe me? I give you 5 reasons why you should love them, too:

Zucchini Pan Stew

1. They are tremendously healthy.
With 15 teensy-weensy calories per 100g (that's 3.5 oz. for you jolly people over the pond) one does not even really have to think about calories. And them containing potassium, folate, vitamin A and manganese (does the term “free radicals” tell you something? Mangenese helps to detoxify them and already 100g is enough to cover 19% of what is recommended daily.) only adds up to their goodness! But enough with the boring health blabber.

2. They are versatile!
Alright, zucchini are a bit bland have a very mild flavour. I'll give you that, zucchini haters (and I KNOW you are out there, I just don't know WHY!). But that is not a bad thing at all. That just means that they soak in the flavours of the other ingredients well like in the recipe that is at the bottom of this post. Want a bit of a crunch? You can eat them raw or lightly blanched like here. Enjoy soups? Blended zucchini give them an almost starchy creaminess like potatoes would but low-carb and calorie (Oh suprise! There is this awesome summery soup I have posted a few weeks ago.). So, you don't feel like eating something savory, now. How about something to satisfy your sweet tooth? Grated zucchini makes cakes and muffins perfectly moist. However, not even them can make this recipe healthy...

You can even stuff, grill and bake and fry them!

3. They are not bound to one particular cuisine.
Ok, I am aware that this also applies to a plethora of other veggies but it was not that clear to me when it comes to zucchini. When I think about them, my first thought is Italian or maybe also just western.

Here is a(n totally incomplete) list of links to recipes from different countries that contain zucchini:

Italian: Pasta Con Zucchine & Menta from Apron and Sneakers

Japanese: Chicken Curry from Just one Cookbook
They also work great as Tempura!

Lebanese: Keshké Salad  from Taste of Beirut

Indian: Zucchini Curry  from Simple Indian Recipes

French: Ratatouille  from Burghilicious

Chinese: Mushroom Chicken from Rasa Malaysia

4. They freeze well.
Although they lose in texture, I find they generally freeze pretty well. I would recommend to already prepare them in the way you intend to use them later (chopping, slicing, grating) because that part could be tricky after thawing but apart from them: Put them in a freezer bag and they are good to go.

5. They are easy to grow in your garden (given you have one).
Alright, I am a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to this point because the last person who grew zucchini in our garden was my grandfather but still, it IS fuzz free! The soil does not need to be particularly good and as long as you keep it moist I cannot imagine anything that could go wrong. Oh, and did I mention that two plants are more than enough to get you and your loved ones well fed through summer? And as a plus, you get to enjoy their blossoms that are not only beautiful, but also edible.

Zucchini Pan Stew

Still not convinced? Here is my grandmother's quick-fix week-night low-carb super-tasty zucchini dish that does not require lots of ingredients and is low in price yet a real comfort food. I don't know exactly how to name it because it's not really a soup, nor a stew. Maybe a soupy stir-fry or a light summery pan stew at best. But what's in a name, anyway. All those juices come directly from the vegetables as there is no adding of water involved. 

Zucchini Pan Stew

 Zucchini Pan Stew
Serves 4

  • 300-500g (10.5–17.5 oz.) ground meat, half beef, half pork
  • 3 medium sized zucchini
  • 3-4 tomatoes, depending on size
  • 3 eggs
  • 4-5 splashes of soy sauce
  • pepper to taste

  1. Cut zucchini and tomatoes into slices of about 5mm (about 0.2''), set aside
  2. In a pan, roast meat without additional fat until it gets crumbly. You still want some bigger chunks, though.
  3. Spread zucchini slices evenly on meat, do the same with tomatoes afterwards.
  4. Add a few splashes of soy sauce and close with a lit letting it simmer on low heat until zucchini are tender (the tomatoes will pretty much dissolve).
  5. Remove lid, stir and add more soy sauce to taste. In a cup or a small bowl, crack open the eggs and stir them just slightly so that yolk and egg white are not completely combined. Pour evenly over pan. Turn heat up to medium.
  6. When eggs begin to set, stir for the last time and keep the heat on until they are completely done.
  7. Add some pepper and enjoy!

This really is a simple, down-home dish that my grandmother especially used to cook on particularly hot days in summer when she would rather do anything else but cooking. The soy sauce goes so well with the juices of the vegetables and if you still feel like you need your carb fix, serve with some bread to soak them up!

Still need some inspiration? Well, you know where get that!

Zucchini Pan Stew

Do you have a zucchini dish that you are particularly fond of? Feel free to post them in the comments. :)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Mexican Chocolate Tart

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Sometimes, to create something beautiful, you have to do evil.

Mexican Chocolate Tart

There were five of them. I tore off all covers, leaving them bare-naked on the cold wooden surface. The first one was strategically placed right in the centre. I knew what was about to happen. Gazing at its shiny, smooth outer, my mouth could not be detained from smirking a little. Then I ran the knife through it for the first time. Easier than imagined. Chop chop chop it continued. Chop chop chop. Bits and pieces flew everywhere, covering the others that were silently sitting right next to it. Chop Chop Chop. First one done. Four to follow. Let's see if I can do three at once, I thought. The knife went down with three dull thuds each time. What a peculiar rhythm. Still one to go.

Mexican Chocolate Tart

As I said. Sometimes, to create something beautiful, you have to do evil.

Chopping chocolate really is not the most delicate activity in the kitchen. In fact, I thought it always creates a scenario reminding of the intro of Dexter. You know, where that whole procedure of preparing breakfast somehow has a murderous touch to it. Coming to the beautiful part, now.

This tart is insanely rich. The filling consists solely of a ganache made of chocolate and cream while the crust has a nice flaky crunch with hardly any sugar giving just the right level of sweetness. I would stick with the official version that I only had a small piece but the picture unfortunately outs me as a big old liar.

Mexican Chocolate Tart
Pants on fire.

Depending on what chocolate you use, it can be a bit pricey. However, you know what I did? I did a quick search online looking for reviews of chocolates and found a reliable source that told me how good they actually are. I have found one that was rather low in price, yet high in quality and it still tasted great (I tried it, of course).

As the recipe told me, I sifted a bit of cocoa over the tart which I actually would not do next time as the flavour overpowered the rest quite a bit. I kind of ate a thin layer off of the top first so I could indulge in the rest sans dutch-processed cocoa powder.

It's fairly easy to prepare yet decadent and just too good. I guess I have found myself another monster to munch on. ;)
The hardest part is to really keep it in the fridge for four hours before cutting it!

The magazine I found this in calls it 'Mexican Tarte', although I am not quite sure what is so Mexican about it.

Mexican Chocolate Tart

Mexican Chocolate Tart
Adapted from: Frau von Heute, 9th issue, 25.02.2011: Mexikanische Tarte

  • 160g (5.6 oz.) AP Flour
  • 100g (3.5 oz.) Butter
  • 50g (1.8 oz.) sugar
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1 egg yolk (size M)
  • 1 tbsp dutch-processed cocoa powder
  • 500g (17.6 oz.) dark milk chocolate (I was not too sure what exactly that was supposed to mean so I used 4 bars of 50% dark chocolate and 1 bar 30% so my ganache was generally rather on the milky side)
  • 400ml (13.5 fl. oz.) cream
  • 1 pack of vanilla sugar (this is lesser known in the US, I think you could either omit it or replace 1 ts cream with 1 ts vanilla extract)
  • Cocoa for dusting the cake (I recommend skipping this)

In addition:
  • Dry peas, beans or cherry stones for baking the crust blind.
  • Parchment paper for the same purpose.

  1. Preheat oven to 200°C (390°F).
  2. Combine flour, sugar, salt, egg yolk, cocoa and butter and knead until smooth (I did that with my hands). Put in refrigerator for 30 minutes.
  3. Grease a 24cm (about 9'') spring form pan and and lay out dough, forming a crust. Prick it with a fork several times and lay out with parchment paper. Fill with dried peas.
  4. Bake for 15 minutes, remove peas and parchment paper and bake for further 10 to 15 minutes.
  5. Chop up chocolate and heat up cream in a small pot. Remove from heat. Add the chocolate along with vanilla sugar to the heated cream and stir until smooth. Let it cool off for 30 minutes. (I added the chocolate to the cold cream and heated everything on low heat just enough to let it melt. It worked fine for me and there was hardly any time needed to let it cool down.)
  6. Pour mass into crust and put in refrigerator for 4 hours. Dust with cocoa powder.

Forget about those damn calories and indulge!
Mexican Chocolate Tart

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Indian Sweet Potato Dessert

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It's warm outside. Soothingly warm. I have mentioned before that this year's summer did not mean well with us so every single day temperature rises above 20°C is precious. In fact, they appear so precious you kind of want keep them in your pocket so you can take them out again when you know exactly that you have got the time to make the most of it. Writing these words, I just realised how odd that thought is. Imagine people had the ability to save sunny days for later. The result? Clouds and rain all year.


Simple Indian Sweet Potato Dessert

This recipe is a bit on the odd side. It's simple. And apparently, it's Indian. It was the dessert we have had the day we enjoyed last time's recipe and comes from the same source. The original only asked for three ingredients: Milk, sugar, and sweet potatoes. This particular dish was chosen for two reasons: Not only were we actually supposed to work on a project so time for cooking was meant to be short (uhm...), it was also meant to be an experiment.

You can imagine that this concoction can only get as pretty as good ol' mashed potatoes and is maybe a bit one-dimensional flavour-wise. So foresighted, we added about 100g of almonds we caramelized with a bit of sugar. Some of it went directly into the puree, the rest was garnish. Almost pretty, right?

Simple Indian Sweet Potato Dessert

Indian Sweet Potato Dessert
Adapted from here. Serves 4.

  • 1 kg (35 oz.) sweet potatoes
  • 930 ml (4 cups) milk
  • 200g (7 oz.) sugar
  • 100g (3.5 oz.) caramelized almond slivers (optional)

  1. Peel and slice sweet potatoes.
  2. Put in a big pot along with 600ml of milk, let it cook on low heat until potatoes are soft.
  3. Remove from heat and puree completely. Add sugar and rest of milk, stir well.
  4. Put pot back on heat and let it simmer until consistency is creamy.
  5. Fold in caramelized almonds and garnish (optional).
  6. Serve warm.

So. How was it? Actually, it was alright and I can see myself preparing it again. It was sweet, creamy and, well, sweet potato-y. But probably only when there are any left-over sweet potatoes. I know it's really, REALLY simple but hey, there is worse.